There is something I've felt for years now it's a strange phenomenon that seems to effect me more than most. It's this online world and what it means to post art online.
I'm cautious by nature and have a strange mix of being an introvert plus some extrovert tendencies. Posting online hasn't been a question, just do it. After I post there is this gnawing sense of what have I done. Then there is an anxious fear of someone commenting or disliking it. This fear isn't unfounded I posted my demo reel online years ago and I got a nasty comment saying it was terrible and I won't get anywhere with that art. They where right but the words still cut deeper than any blade. It's hard to describe how much this affected me that it was all online and me staring at a computer screen but the emotional toll it had wrought on me was real. I did a little research about this person, they to had a demo reel up and I was comforted that they didn't seem to be any better than I. They probably took their insecurities out on me. I wrote back a nasty note on their demo reel but thinking it over decided that the act of writing the response was all I needed I promptly deleted it and felt a little better.
I don't know if I'd equate posting online as a fear maybe an anxiety. Because many things come from being seen positive and negative. Some people will love it and some people will hate it. For me it's a feeling of loss. Or maybe even an exploitation. Let me explain. These social media platforms people don't come to them because of the platform it's the people using them. In this way we are the products social media pedals. This may lead to short term gains for the artists they promote. In promoting the artist they promote themselves. I wish there was something out there that promoted art and artists. Artstation is what I immediately think of but even that isn't forward facing to the public.
